What you need most...
by crabby
Summary: based on the anime "Whisper of the Heart". Shizuku is a senior at high school. She is quite (A LOT) different from what she was in the movie/manga. Or in other words, she is growing up... read on.


**WHAT YOU NEED MOST…**

by crabby 

(based on the anime **"Whisper of the Heart"** by Hiirage Aoi) 

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own "Whisper of the heart".. bladibla.. You get it now, don't you?And please, Do not copy/steal (RIIGHT) my story. 

**Notes:**

**this story is KINDA improvisational. Meaning I didn't really plan anything…. I just write whatever comes to my head.Hehe. That's why it's pretty stupid.. but don't get me wrong, there IS a point to the story… 

**It's going to be PREEETTY long.. 

**this story has a ton of spoilers.. Don't say I didn't warn you. But if you don't really care about the movie, read on with no worries. 

**email me at: [taelady@vh1.com][1] if you want to be notified of any updates. thanks

Chapter one

- - - - -

**"I can't stand school.**But school is my life.It keeps ME alive.It gives me a personality.The modern society just sickens me." 

"Oh, please.Why are you taking so long?I haven't got all day!I only have less than 6 hours, as a matter of fact!Why are you so slow??I should have asked for an I-Mac!" 

"It's fucking three in the morning, and I just finished three cups of cheap coffee.Three pages of analysis for "The Crucible" are to be handed in to my English teacher in a few hours.And all I have are two pages of bullshit.Why the fuck does he makes us do three full pages?" 

"This stupid book is just so fucking short.I can't believe what my English teacher is making us do.If he thinks it's so easy, why can't he assign himself to do it?Geez!I am only seventeen years old!I am under-aged!We, high school students, are too young to maximize a supposedly short essay!Where the hell do they get all these ideas?Tch!I bet black magic is involved when making up homework.Torture!TORTURE!" 

"I wish Shiho were here.I wish…. AGH!But if Shiho were here, she would pester me _professionally_ to review my essay two hundred times!I am stuck." 

"I hate my life.I hate my hair.I hate my dull appearance.I hate this room.I hate the poverty I live in.I hate Yuko's perky body.I hate my addiction to coffee.I hate my zits.I hate the primitive apartment I live in.I hate this world.And most of all, I hate SCHOOL!I hate Mr. Enjo!I hate all pedagogues!I hate each and every educator that ever existed!" 

- - - - - 

Shizuku was sitting on a swivel chair, staring blankly at the computer her father handed down to her just last week, effort crawling around her scalp just looking for attention, her body shivering from the cold November weather.It was probably the excitement of finally owning a computer. 

"Damn, I need earphones!I should've gotten those Sony earphones!What was I thinking spending all my money on those shitty wicker sandals??It's freezing cold!Sales make people do regretful things. Damn it.I haven't even touched the keyboard for almost fifteen minutes, now!Abigail Williams is…. she is…." 

_… Abigail Williams is quite a vicious … bitch … _

"No. He won't approve of that." 

"Damn.It must be the music that's been fucking up my concentration."She executed Winamp and maximized Microsoft Word."Oh, shit.Why do I keep talking to myself?I'm not some shitty fictional character being examined by the public.GEEZ!People in this so-called real world don't normally talk to the wall." 

"There I go again.Talking to myself…out loud!Big deal, everyone's asleep.Gosh, am I weird." 

Her lonely voice was then joined with a baby's loud cry and her mother's voice humming a familiar song.A lullaby, actually, that has not been sung by her since Shizuku was little.Scenes from the past started flashing into her mind one by one like an overhead projector. 

One of Shizuku's first baths, her mother massaging shampoo onto her hair… her very first bike, it was bright red… the many times she had said "I love you, mom." ----- 

"Shizuku" her mother pushed the door open furiously but didn't let it hit the wall. "Your baby brother is trying to sleep.I could hear you coughing out negative terms from my room.So keep it down.And if you say another word, I will have you change his diaper.And if you refuse, I will cut off the internet. Do I make myself clear?" 

Shizuku made a self-righteous gesture with her arms."But, MOM…" 

"NO BUTS!And what is this you are doing?" 

"It's…it's an essay.You know, that crucible thing?" 

Her mother massaged her forehead and shook her head."Shizuku.You had two weeks to work on that essay, had you not?Why on earth are you doing it in the last minute?At four in the morning!!" 

Shizuku said nothing.She had no answer.She was afraid of penalty. She awkwardly stared at her mother's eyes and moved hers around temporarily. She finally looked away from her mother's eyes and stared at the monitor.

"Shizuku.I'm sorry I haven't been spending enough time with you.I…I feel like we're slowly drifting away from each other.But you do understand that I work long and hard just for you and Yuichi." 

Shizuku had "feel sorry for me" written all over her face.She wanted this conversation to be about her and not her irresponsibility. 

Her mother took her hand."My, you're freezing!" she gave her a slight smile. 

After a long pause, Shizuku slowly kept her hand and started working on her essay. 

"You know that I love you. Don't you?"Her mother asked. 

"Of.. of course. Can I please work on my essay?" 

Her mother nodded and carried herself weakly to bed. 

TO BE CONTINUED… go to chapter 2 

   [1]: mailto:taelady@vh1.com



End file.
